By David Fireman, LCSW
The Tribune’s article, “Grief is a beast”: Interventional care, palliative care. It’s time to consider bereavement care, speaks to something American society has overlooked for far too long.
From the article:
‘Grief is a beast’
“The American Psychological Association defines grief as the deep and poignant anguish experienced after significant loss. Grief that ensues after the death of someone beloved is unique to each individual. It can destabilize because it lacks a timeframe; it’s not linear and ‘normal’ doesn’t apply.
“Illinois programs like Missing Pieces and global organizations like Soaring Spirits International aim to help the bereaved navigate complex emotions and guide them through the grief process.”
We’ve made important advances in caring for people as they approach death. Hospice and palliative care have transformed countless lives. But when the funeral is over and everyone is forced to return to their routines, grieving families are often left to navigate one of life’s most difficult odysseys mostly alone.
As a grief counselor, I’ve spent decades sitting with people whose lives have been forever changed by the death of a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or friend. Again and again I hear the same words, “My life came to a screeching halt. A lot of people were there at first. But the world kept going and life moved on. Mine couldn’t. Mine didn’t.”
Grief isn’t something to solve or get over. It is the price we pay for loving deeply. People don’t need someone to erase their grief. They need someone willing to witness and accompany them through it.
For more than 40 years, the Center for Grief Recovery has had the privilege of walking alongside grieving children, adults, couples, and families. We’ve seen that while grief never completely disappears, people can find their balance again when they are met with empathic understanding and skilled support.
Bereavement counseling helps people learn how to move and live with what remains.
If we believe that caring for people includes helping them die with dignity, it should also include helping those left behind learn, slowly and with integrity, how to live again. That isn’t an extra service. It’s part of what it means to be a compassionate community.