Grieving Adults

Facing the World as Grieving Adults

With love and attachment come separation and loss.  As grieving adults, we all know it, but can hardly bring ourselves to face it.  And yet, without going into the depths of emotional intensity, facing the stark new reality, expressing all our reactions, and re-emerging from the experience changed, we take the risk of getting stuck and traumatized somewhere in the developmental process of recovery and healing.  There are no two brains exactly alike.  There are no two losses that are the same.  Each of us reacts to loss differently depending upon such factors as our religious, cultural/ethnic backgrounds, whether the loss was expected or unexpected, whether we perceive the loss as preventable, the nature of our relationship to the deceased, the death circumstances, our current life stressors and quality of support, our ideas and beliefs about life and death, and the vulnerability and resilience we experience as life continues.

Naturally, not all bereavement experiences are in relation to the loss of a loved one.  Sometimes loss comes in other forms.  In fact, even a little careful attention to our life will reveal the many ways in which loss is ubiquitous.  However, it is not all bad to realize that the way to develop and live more broadly is to learn through the challenges of letting go of one phase of development to move onto the next.  With the right forms of support and sustenance we can integrate losses into the fabric of who we are and thereby change the relationship we have with what has been lost, ourselves, and the world.

Recovering a Future Vision

Recovering a Future Vision

As Covid-19 and our country's political crisis continue to rage on, it becomes increasingly difficult to cope with and manage our fears and anxieties. We are enduring so many losses. In fact, there's a kind of hazy, threatening cloud of grief hanging over everything....

Feeling Helpless

Feeling Helpless

I can’t say I love feeling helpless. The underlying fear keeps haunting me, its tendrils reaching into my thoughts, pointing me darker, deeper. I can say I love myself when I’m feeling helpless – or more specifically, I’ve learned to let myself receive what I need....

In Response to Violence

In Response to Violence

In response to the horrific violence in a grocery store in Kentucky and a place called The Tree of Life. Autumn has always been a poignant time for me with the call of geese overhead as they fly away from the darkness of winter to come. This year, darkness fell too...

Taking Care of Yourself

Taking Care of Yourself

In order to stay as balanced as possible when grief evokes intense and variable emotional states, we must attend to body, mind and spirit. Use gentle, peaceful means, and be patient with your self and your process to recover from a loss. Taking care of yourself when...

The Howl of Grief

The Howl of Grief

There is a phase in the grief process that feels like fragmentation. There are few words that can describe the gut-wrenching pain of this part of grief. Many people say it's like their self is being torn apart or that the anguish they feel coursing through their body...

Why Grief Counseling?

Why Grief Counseling?

Many people wonder about why grief counseling is recommended.  What is it?  Why should I do it?  It's hard enough to go through this with friends and family.  What's meeting with a professional going to do for me? Why Grief Counseling Works We know that the searing...