Death of a Partner
Grieving After the Death of a Partner
When a life partner or spouse dies, the loss involves us on all levels. The chaos that may ensue takes our breath away and leaves us feeling torn in the deepest places. So many of our physical and emotional needs are met through ongoing connection with a partner and the rupture of losing such person tears at the fabric of our very self. Recognizing the many facets and features of the relationship, reacting to, and remembering them, is often a painful but meaningful challenge in the therapeutic recovery process.
Gradually and sensitively learning to hold onto certain aspects of the connection and—in layers and levels—to let go of others will be a large part of the work moving forward. Ultimately, there is no way around the complexity of emotions involved with grieving after the death of a partner. However, working and persevering with a skilled companion in a safe and contained environment can help begin a healing perspective and bring increasing order to the chaos.
Grief as Transition: Rethinking Loss Through Colin Murray Parkes
by David Fireman, LCSW When I think about grief in my work as a psychotherapist and social worker I sometimes return to the ideas of Colin Murray Parkes. His way of understanding loss feels grounded in what I see every day with clients. He does not treat grief as...
Chicagoland Counseling Resource List
As part of our nonprofit status we’re constantly searching for and providing relevant and updated resources for our readership. Here is an excellent Chicagoland Counseling Resource list. The list below includes organizations that accept Medicaid. Highlighted (*** and...
Stage Models for Grief are “Sus”
By David Fireman Grief is one of life’s most complex emotional experiences, which profoundly shapes our understanding of love, loss, survival, and recovery. It is often discussed through the lens of stage models, which attempt to describe the psychological and...
Personal Grief Rituals by Paul M. Martin
Personal Grief Rituals presents a new model for how bereaved individuals can create unique expressions of mourning that are tailored to their psychological needs and grounded in memories and emotions specific to the relationship they lost. This book examines cultures...
On the Washington Post’s “How to Grieve During a Pandemic”
To witness is to protect and preserve experience from being denied out of existence. As mourners we go through phases of protest, not the least of which is the fight to not have our grief taken away from us. Back in September, 2020 when the total number estimated...
Grief Rituals, Part II
by David Fireman, LCSW The anguish of grief takes its own course and demands an unknown schedule. For a time we are dominated by its waves as they crash through us, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. Our reflex is to fortify and resist. It's actually only natural...
Metaphors for Mourners
Grief counseling has a specific character in that it is essentially focused on assisting the griever in recognizing, reacting to, and integrating loss(es). However, while it is distinct in its nature and course, grief counseling often intersects with traditional...
Book Review: Loving Grief by Paul Bennett
Loving Grief by Paul Bennett: A Review by Allan Schnarr, PhD The path of a really good book is straight to the reader’s heart. So it was as I was steadily enchanted by the wisdom in Paul’s story of love. I willingly surrendered to his intimate tale. I felt myself...