Bereavement thrusts us into a world of multiple swirling self states; feelings, thoughts, sensations that are unpredictable in their depth and range. In and through this bewildering painful process, we struggle to find a way to relinquish certain aspects of our relationship to the dead, while maintaining a new and strange connection beyond the limit imposed by mortality. In this context, it is useful to challenge the idea of “closure”.
This enlightening article on the life and work of Pauline Boss, PhD, one of our leaders in the fields of social psychology and bereavement, introduces us to the essential concept of “ambiguous loss.” Here, the unrealistic standard of closure, is challenged and undone,; ultimately to be replaced with a more reasonable, caring understanding of grief seen as an ongoing process of “moving forward” or “moving with” the dead, based on our need for psychological attachment in the face of physical separation.