You know that your grief therapy is working when… 
You feel increasingly uncomfortable with the status quo when it is causing harm.
Your causes and relationships begin to more closely reflect and reinforce your values.
You take the risk to trust your own change and learning processes.
You stop making excuses (make less of them).
You become more honest with yourself and others.
You empathically confront and challenge your own and others’ fears, illusions, and self-imposed constraints.
You use your own voice to respectfully express your values, opinions, perspectives—especially when they differ from those of others.
You learn how to collaborate and share with others more efficiently and effectively.
You sustain your efforts and remain engaged in your struggles.
You open yourself to a range of feelings, many of which are unfamiliar.
You do not relax until it is time to do so.
You blaze more trails.
You follow your own instincts and consult your conscience with more confidence.
You know better when to say no.
You know better when to say yes.
You access the best within yourself to make your life meaningful and to repair the world.
You feel more free to ask questions.
You experience sadness at the suffering of others and find fitting ways to help alleviate suffering.
You learn to use your angry feelings less as weapons and more as fuel to influence positive change.
You are more willing to think and act courageously and creatively.
You know better the difference between “I get to” and “I ought to”.
You begin to feel more excited about the future and less held back by the past.
You are able to recognize a positive trajectory forward over time.
You feel empowered to make the best decision possible when confronted with a myriad of options.
You have more compassion for your own discomfort but have more faith that you can control/regulate your own actions/behavior.
You can distinguish between what feels good in the moment and what is good for you/sustaining in the long run.

David Fireman, LCSW