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Blog: Reflections from the Center
» CENTER FOR GRIEF RECOVERY
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Introduction to Experiential Methods
Many of us have gotten out of touch with our physical
selves. We have become so good at intellectualizing and live so totally in
our thoughts that our emotional life suffers, becoming constricted and narrow.
We find life losing its richness, we are unable to truly enjoy ourselves or
maintain closeness with others.
The foundations for a fulfilling life must be our emotional depth; yet, we find that
we cannot connect either with our awkward body or our deprived feelings. Often we feel
alone, isolated and dissociated. We may be easily hurt and in pain, feel fragmented, and
confused. We lack balance, we do not feel centered or grounded.
These techniques also have the ability to increase ego-strength and self-esteem.
Every time we within and explore the depths of our psyche, then emerge and
reintegrate,
we gain a feeling of enhanced competency. We lose our fear of our own unconscious.
Most of us have spent a lifetime fleeing emotional pain and this adds to our belief that we
are powerless and incompetent, with much to fear.
When we stop this flight we draw on our inner resources and are strengthened . . .
We have come to think that we shouldn't experience the emotions that have been labeled as
"negative": fear, sadness, vulnerability, emptiness, guilt. Without the ability to tolerate
these emotions, we lose the ability to full. Without the ability to tolerate these emotions,
we lose the ability to fully experience pleasure. This is not our intent; but our refusal to
accept pain shuts down both sides of the spectrum. Thus, when we regain our ability to tolerate
physical or spiritual pain we increase our feelings of pleasure and open ourselves to regained
memories and new experiences. This ability to tolerate and manage pain give us feelings of power,
control and competency.
Another benefit is that learning takes place in a holistic way. The simultaneous education of body
and mind ensures that we never forget what we learn. We have failed to recall the admonition to
"educate the whole person"; experiential methods bring us back to this basic form of "re-education".
The learning that comes from experiences belongs to the learner, not to the teacher; thus we own our
experiences.
Working against resistance and unconscious defense mechanisms slows traditional counseling and traumatic
experiences take years to reveal. However, in relaxed states, resistance is diminished dramatically, and
the time necessary to recover lost memories, feelings and images shortened. Additionally, many people find
themselves very preoccupied with the therapeutic process, their relationship to the therapist and the
intensity of feelings connected to the process. It is almost as if the rest of life is put on hold. Experiential
work minimizes these difficulties and is, in fact, often energizing.
Experiential techniques help us learn quickly about the functioning of our mind/body/spirit. We learn to regulate
our moods by regulating our breathing and to soothe ourselves by placing our hands over certain parts of our
bodies. Through self-relaxation we can recapture repressed memories feelings and thoughts. We come to
understand most of our psychological mechanisms. Because they become more obvious as we experience rather than
analyze them, we obtain priceless insights about ourselves.
The following is a description of the various components of the techniques developed by the Center, the Blended
Experiential Method.
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