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Institute for Creativity and Development ArticlesCourage to Change Courage to ChangeDavid Fireman, LCSW To a great extent, courage means facing our own inner demons. That is, turning toward, instead of away from, our emotional intensity and pain. It’s also about working hard to avoid unhealthy, defensive strategies we use to cope with our problems. Some of these include: self-medicating or numbing out; staying too busy to focus inside; anger and aggression; blaming others or external forces. Instead, we slowly learn to tolerate our emotions. We let them be. This means being willing to find out just how needy we are, how deprived, cheated or depleted we feel. Courage also means taking considered risks to: reach out for help from others (i.e., two categories of help are informal: family, friends, intimate partners, coaches, mentors, sponsors; and formal: health professionals such as therapists, doctors, spiritual guides). Courage is also about searching for friends who are on a learning and healing path. It is trying out new skills and behaviors. It is a commitment to continue learning and making mistakes. But in order to learn we have to admit we don’t know something, so we also have to tolerate our limits and our slow pace of change.
Creativity and Flow Problem and ExerciseDavid Fireman, LCSW Problem: Oftentimes, our creativity gets blocked and we lose that sense of flow that makes change feel almost effortless. If you think of creativity as made up of 4 basic elements, then you can identify where your blockages are occuring. The four basic elements of the creative process are: passion, newness, personal power, and structure. Passion comes first. It is perhaps the largest cause of blocked creativity. Without passion we are unable to access deep honest emotion needed for creativity. Second comes newness. Our perceptions get gunked up. Our opinions and ideas become rigid. We persist in repetitive behaviors. Thus it is impossible to see and hear things with freshness, openness. Third is personal power. Low self-respect and diminished self-worth keep us from the courage and faith it takes to move through our doubts and worries. Without a strong sense of self we can become paralyzed in fear and doubt. Fourth comes structure. Ultimately, we need to make or build something with our creative impulse. It may be a painting or business plan or family activity. Without a product or outcome the creativity itself has no place to land and assume a shape in the world. Exercise: Use your imagination to experience yourself flowing through each block as it occurs at each step of the model. Passion. Newness. Personal Power. Structure. Sense what the blocks are and use your mind to flow through, over, under them. In the imagination, you are not limited to physical laws. You can fly through the air, breath under water, travel into the past or future, become very large or very small, merge with the natural elements, etc. Imagine you are in a small boat floating down a stream. You are enjoying the warm sunlight, the cool breeze, and nature’s vivid colors surrounding you. Gradually, you feel the boat slowing down and coming to a stop. The water has become too shallow and the bottom of the boat is scraping against the sand beneath it. You are stopped. What do you do? You can see the stream continues on into the distance. How do you get back into its flow?
How Do You Know Therapy is Working?There are many ways of thinking about and answering this question. We hear a lot of ideas and answers from others, but what are some specific measures or outcomes you can identify to help you with this important question? To address this question, the Institute has developed a list of outcomes that you can use. Remember that each person is unique and will have their own particular version or experience of these outcomes: •You feel increasingly mature •You feel more powerful •You are more active and less passive •You give up attempts to control others yet have more influence with others •You have increased ability to shape the environment •You are more aware of your deeper needs, and get more of your needs met •You are more independent •You are more connected to others •You have a broader range of emotional responses •You feel more balanced Please send us other outcomes
you may have noticed in yourself if you have had a course of therapy or
would like to have if you are considering it. Either way we would
welcome your comments. |
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