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And all subsided in the hush
that followed, in the calm
of great wings folding
and shadowy forms lying down.

I rose and left that room,
the house of my grief
and my bondage, my book
never again to be opened.

To see as once I saw,
steadied by the darkness
in which I walked
and would make my way.

John Haines
Home   < Grief Recovery Articles  < Myths and Realities of Mourning

Myths and Realities of Mourning

by David Fireman, LCSW, Adapted from Therese A. Rando

Regrettably, our society maintains a host of unrealistic assumptions and inappropriate expectations when it comes to the work of grief and mourning. Here are some myths to consider:

1. Grief and mourning decline in a steadily decreasing fashion over time.

2. All losses prompt the same type of mourning.

3. Bereaved individuals need only express their feelings in order to resolve their mourning.

4. Grief will affect the mourner psychologically but will not interfere in other ways.

5. To be healthy after a death, the mourner must put that person out of mind.

6. Intensity and length of mourning are a testimony to love for the deceased.

7. When one mourns a death, one mourns only the loss of that person and nothing else.

8. Losing someone to a sudden, unexpected death is the same as losing someone to an anticipated death.

9. Mourning is over in a year.

10. Time alone heals grief and mourning.

Copyright, 2011
David Fireman, LCSW
773/274-4600
www.griefcounselor.org

 

 

News and Events
Community Walk for Grief Support: Celebrating 25 Years of Transformation
The Center celebrated its 25th year anniversary with a fund raiser walk in Rogers Park, Chicago on June 4.
[read more]

Community Walk for Grief Video


The Center is expanding again! We'd like to introduce you to Paul Martin, PsyD. We are very excited to welcome Paul to the Center. Please learn about his work by visiting our bio section or clicking on this link.




New Groups

The Center's New Sibling Loss Group - An Ongoing Group Therapy Experience for adults struggling with sibling loss offers a unique opportunity to learn, grow, and heal grief and loss . . . [read more]

Healing Our Losses - An Ongoing Group Therapy Experience for adults struggling with loss offers a unique opportunity to learn, grow, and heal grief and loss . . . [read more]


New Workshops
More Power to You - Sat. Apr. 21st and Sun. Apr. 22nd,CLARET CENTER,Chicago IL 60637, Facilitated by Allan Schnarr. . . . [Click for details]

New Articles

Courage to Change . . . - To a great extent, courage means facing our own inner demons. That is, turning toward, instead of away from, our emotional intensity and pain. [read more]

You Know Therapy Is Working When . . . - You feel increasingly uncomfortable with the status quo when it is causing harm. [read more]

Ideas About Mourning - For the griever the future feels shattered; everything hoped for is broken and gone/ lost like a broken mirror. [read more]

Myths and Realities of Mourning - Regrettably, our society maintains a host of unrealistic assumptions and inappropriate expectations when it comes to the work of grief and mourning. Here are some myths to consider: [read more]

The Difference Between Grief and Mourning - It is critical to know the difference between grief and mourning. Both processes are there to help the bereaved face the reality that their loved one is gone and then to slowly begin to accommodate to that fact. [read more]



 
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